There is NO octopus in this ice cream. I wanted to make that super clear up front. It's written on the box, just underneath an octopus blowing some suspicious black smoke, but you might miss it.
You're meant to skewer your takoyaki with a wooden pick, for easier eating. Trust me, chopsticks are tricky. Some other mini ice creams, like Yukimi Daifuku and Pino, include a similar plastic pick. This box didn't have a pick in it at all. What, am I meant to drop melty ice cream bites into my mouth whole from a decadent height? That sounded like a bad idea. (Spoiler alert: it was a terrible idea.)
On the box, these little sweet weirdos look perfectly round at the top and flat at the bottom. Out of the box, it's a different story. Don't get me wrong, they're weird as hell. Just... more than I thought.
Either every single piece defrosted a bit on my way home from the conbini and refroze into weird shapes, or I've been tricked by product packaging. Or both.
Wow, they look awkward, don't they? And a bit gross, if you stare at them for too long.
They kept wobbling and sliding around the plate as they melted on the bottom, like small children learning to ice skate. Almost put me off eating them. Almost.
Seeing as my first bite was milky crushed ice, and the tops were covered in freezer frost, my best guess is that they did refreeze. The ice content and the milk content had separated, or they weren't mixed together properly in the first place.
Having to eat these whole is like putting several ice cubes in your mouth at once, which I seriously don't recommend. They're obviously stupidly cold, and also hard to bite into and break down. If you have sensitive teeth, avoid avoid avoid.
The dashi soy sauce umami didn't stand out in the vanilla ice cream too much, and I'm okay with that. It wasn't as sweet, maybe, but that was easily balanced back out by the chocolate.
Strawberry crunch kicked in after some chewing. Couldn't taste the matcha crunch at all, which was a relief because I don't really like matcha! Shock horror! The day you see a serious matcha review on this blog is the day you know I've gone mad.
I ate all the takoyaki ice creams in the end, mostly because I'd opened the individual packets to take photos and there was nothing else for it. Also there were only 6 pieces to get through. A stingy portion if we're talking about the real deal, but in this case I didn't complain.
Wouldn't buy these again - I can't anyway, they're a limited edition.
Verdict: 4/10. I'm going to keep my takoyaki and my ice cream separate from now on.