What's a chizza, you ask?
Imagine a deep dish pizza loaded with toppings, but the entire base is a boneless fried chicken fillet.
That.
KFC has released a limited-edition 'chizza' before, with pepperoni and cheese. This time, it's covered in mayo, Korean-style bulgogi beef, spinach, more cheese, and spicy red pepper slices.
The bulgogi chizza came out on the same day I found out about it. Instead of being a limited-time menu option, it was on sale 'while stocks last'. Who knows how much stock that is, or how long it'll last! So I went straight to the nearest KFC on my lunch break and ordered one.
Each chizza arrives in a pizza box, and is roughly the size of an individual pizza from any major chain. The (100% Japanese) chicken fillet's pre-cut into 4 slices. I take that back. More like... perforated, for that tear-and-share feeling.
It's about as round as they could make it. Which is: not very. Whoever was on pizza-making duty didn't do enough kneading.
Shockingly, this slab of smothered chicken mooching in its own oil is (barely) under 900 calories. I added on a small side of curly fries and a medium drink.
The fries were extra, because the chizza can only be ordered by itself or with a drink. Maybe they reckon you won't - or shouldn't - need a side to go with it.
Spoiler alert: I relied on those potato breaks like you wouldn't believe.
The first bite was heaven. The chicken was juicy, and the toppings were amazing. For the whole of that quarter, I felt like I could die happy.
The final bite was hell. By then, I was seriously flagging. The chicken was still soft and tasty, but the stodge of all that extra meat and cheese was setting in hard. Scoffing the first half in under 10 minutes hadn't helped. Every chew became an ordeal.
Taking bites of potato in between chunks of chicken was like palate cleansing, the same way pickled ginger goes with sushi. I'm sure it's the only reason I managed to hang in there and eat the whole chizza.
Once I eventually finished, I had a good 15 minutes of my lunch break left to sit and think about what I'd just done. It wasn't long enough. The full waddle back to the office felt painful, both physically and mentally.
If I get another chance to take on the chizza, it won't be alone.
Verdict: 9/10. A point off for difficulty. That'll teach me not to share.